how to not stress over what people say

How many times a day do you find yourself stressing over something somebody said to you or within earshot? I’ve done it way too many times; working myself into a panic over someone else’s words, whether they were meant to be hurtful or not. During the first trimester of pregnancy, your hormones can make you feel like you’re on a roller coaster ride, adding to the heightened emotional sensitivity you might experience in conversation. Not stressing over what people say will take a lot of effort, but the benefits are worth it. Keep reading to find out how to not stress over what people say.

Know Who You Are

I wish that I could tell you that if you just wait awhile, the people surrounding you will grow up, learn to read your mind and will start being careful about what they say around and about you. I wish. But life ain’t like that. People are going to be people; you need to just be sure to be you. When you know who you are you will not be easily stressed by what people say.

How does this relate to pregnancy? I remember chatting with one of my friends about my plans to breastfeed my baby. She let me know in terribly descriptive detail how painful breastfeeding is (which by the way it does not have to be; check out this YouTube video for more). To be quite honest with you, I didn’t care for her opinion about it, I had already made up my mind. I was going to breastfeed my child because of the many health benefits (helps fight eczema, asthma and is good for both baby and mommy) and because I wanted to experience that bonding time that comes with breastfeeding.

I could’ve started stressing over it though VERY easily. I could’ve stocked up on formula unnecessarily out of fear that I wouldn’t be able to handle the assumed pain of breastfeeding when my child was born. But I didn’t, because I knew who I was and I knew what kind of mom I was going to be. Can I just say something, girl? You get what you go after. You want to be that loving, patient mother? Plan it. Practice it. Go after it. You want to be that stay-at-home mom that has a side hustle? Plan it. Practice it. Go after it. You want to be the mother that raises fearless, compassionate children? Plan it. Go after it… You get the picture. Don’t just wait until after you’ve had your baby to become all these wonderful versions of mom. Do your research; read those books, devour those articles; start practicing patience with your partner, your family and your friends. You will get what you go after.

Another resource for you is Dr. Jack Newman’s Visual Guide to Breastfeeding. This video really helped me have a firm confidence in myself that I could successfully breastfeed my child without pain.

Be Confident in Your Purpose

People will try to say things to make you doubt yourself for as long as you try to do anything that takes any effort. If you are not going to let their words of fear or anxiety bother you, you are going to need to have confidence in your purpose. You are a mother and if you are striving to be a crunchy mom, a health-conscious mom, a caring mom, a connected mom or whatever your goal is, you are going to hear negative words from people who maybe don’t belief you can accomplish your intention.

You need to be confident in your purpose so that you know the “why” behind the “what”. You need to know the reason you do what you do. Once you know your reason, you have a firm foundation for the method you are choosing to use. When I was asked why I didn’t plan to have a hospital birth, my answer was that I had done the research and I felt more comfortable with midwives in a home birth setting. I knew that the environment plays an important part during labour and I did not want to have to deal with nurses pushing me to use medication or doctors who I had not met delivering my baby. Having a baby is an intimate experience and for most of my life I was a shy girl. There was no way I was going to let some stranger see me naked, in labour and just be okay with it! Yep, that one was close to my heart 🙂 

Maybe someone or some people are giving you a hard time just because you have made the decision to have your baby. I want to let you know that I am cheering you on. Going through pregnancy is not easy, much less when people are saying stuff about you or your baby or your reputation. Be confident in your purpose. Why are you choosing to have your baby? Because you value life? Because you believe it is the right thing to do? Once you know your “why”, you stick with it. And don’t be moved. When it’s all said and done you will be better for it because you are building character (and character is only proven through the tough times).

Realize Why People Say Stuff

A lot of what people say comes from their own understanding of the world or their experiences, or outlook on life. Some people have a very negative perspective and you will hear it in what they tell you. Some people have experienced hurt that they have not gotten over. Some people are overwhelmed by fear which is why their advice is fearful and anxious.

Sometimes you have to pause and think about where people are getting their inspiration from. Many times what we hear is not for us, but its an overflow of whatever the person is dealing with. Once you get to the bottom of that, you can take a lot of words with a grain of salt. Being gracious and compassionate will help you converse at a deeper level with people as well as help you not to stress over what they say.


Stress does not have to be the word that describes your pregnancy. I do need to say this, if you find yourself in a toxic relationship or environment, try your best to get out of it for your wellness and the wellness of your child. Look for pregnancy centres within your area where you can find support and resources. Shoot me an email, I would love to help you find further helpful information!

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