What you need to know about
Pregnancy comes with many challenges and causes you to grow as a woman and as a mother. One of, if not the biggest challenge of pregnancy is fear. Actually, one of the biggest challenges of life is fear. If you listen to all the statistics, the negative reports and your own worries you will be weighed down with fear throughout the entirety of your pregnancy. You wanna know why? Because there is ALWAYS something to be afraid of! Fear is like a soap opera, it will go on and on, replaying the same storylines over and over; exaggerating the worst and forgetting the best. Fear parades itself as a monster, but in reality it is only a small illusionist who throws huge shadows against the wall of your mind.
So, as we take a look at this important obstacle in pregnancy, I want you to know this about fear:
FEAR IS A LIAR
Yes, I wrote it! Fear is a liar and the best way to fight a liar is by using the truth. So when fear comes with a scenario of sickness for you and your baby, go to those affirmations I posted and speak wellness. When fear tries to tell you about why you will not be able to have a healthy pregnancy, refuse that negativity. Say out loud that you ARE having a healthy pregnancy and will continue to do so and will have a healthy and safe delivery.
When I faced fear in my pregnancy especially during the first trimester, I spoke peace to myself and to my baby and used Scripture and prayer to calm my mind and steady my heart. I found so much peace and was able to fight off every fear. I will be posting some of the Scriptures I found specifically against fear soon (so stay tuned)!
I gotta tell you this – WHAT YOU SAY IS SO IMPORTANT! If you find that a person or people around you are talking in a way that is causing you fear about your pregnancy, you have a right to leave the conversation or shut it down. Hey mama, this is a practice in motherhood. They don’t call us Mama Bears for nothing. There is a time when you have to be protective about your child and about yourself and about the power of words. If someone says something that is fear-filled, you can vocally refuse it and instead speak words that are truth-filled. For example, when I had shared about my pregnancy with someone, they had mentioned their very long and painful birth experience. I told them that I was going to have a short, healthy delivery (which I did). I shut down that fear quickly because I know the dangers of living in fear especially while pregnant.
FEAR IS AN ILLUSIONIST
Like I said before, fear is an illusionist. It is a master magician and it will work with what you hear, what you see, what you say and cast shadows that although they may be unrealistic – are very believable. How do you cut fear down to size? Take an honest look at the truth. Take an honest look at the root.
First, what is the truth about your pregnancy or situation? What are you afraid of? Is it something that might happen or is already happening? Is it really as bad as you think it is or will be? Is there a solution to the situation you are afraid of?
Secondly, why are you afraid? What is the beginning point of this fear? Why has it grown so large? Can you find a solution for the actual reason that you are afraid?
Journaling can really help in answering the above question and finding real solutions for what it is you fear. Having a fearless conversation with someone you trust can also help you deal with the real issues that are being blown out of proportion by fear. Send me an email if you need help with this!
FEAR iS ONLY AS STRONG AS YOU MAKE IT
Whos making this fear so strong? You are. How? Fear begins as a seed that found its way into the soil of the soul. If you feed it with additional worries, plus news that pinpoints that exact fear, plus fear-filled talking, you’ll have a gigantic weed growing into all parts of your life in no time.
When I told my coworkers that I was going to have a home birth, they gawked at me. What was I thinking and what year did I live in? Didn’t I know all the dangers of having a birth outside of a hospital?! Hadn’t I heard all the bad stories?
I said my plan with a smile. I had done my research. I trusted myself, my body and my God. I knew that my baby and I were a team and I was stubborn (in a good way) about the decision I had made. I said it to myself constantly – that I would have my baby in my parent’s home with the midwives and family around. I would tell that to my baby. I would tell that to my husband and to my parents. What I didn’t do is feed any fear of not being able to have a home birth. I listened exclusively to a podcast about home births. I made it clear to my midwife that I planned to have a home birth, even when I went over the 41 week mark. I prayed with my husband and my parents for a home birth even when I had to go to the hospital to do non-stress tests and there was talk of being induced. And I delayed induction for days by focusing on the truth that I knew. I knew my body could do this. I knew my baby would come when he was ready.
And you know what? He did. The day I was supposed to be induced, the hospital called. I smiled through contractions; I was already in labour.
I was not afraid of homebirths and had no reason to be. I had choked off the fuel that was needed for fear to grow.
FEAR IS FAITHLESS
Fear only believes that the worst is yet to come. It has no true faith.
If you have faith or need it, you have come to the right place. Here is something you can put your faith in – God wants you to have a healthy pregnancy. Actually, he wants good things for you always. That’s why Jeremiah 29:11 says. “For I know the plans I have for you, ” declares the Lord, ” plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Whatever the fear is that you face today, the God who is bigger than any fear wants to stand with you. Talk to him and he will show you how to crush that fear.
You may laugh and think that what I wrote above is impossible. How could I say that? I have no idea how big and real your fear is. You might be right, maybe I don’t know how huge your fear is in your mind, but I know the fears I have faced. All-encompassing worries that threatened to shut down my life completely. I was too scared to write about it at the time. I was too proud to reach out for help from trustworthy people. All I had, and I mean all I had was God. I had to believe that he would help me through. And you know what?
Love ya, girl!